pretty, blonde and fabulous

You know, everyone knows…I love you..so much…you are my person, you make me happy, sad, crazy, mad and every other emotion….so you should know how hard it is for me to actually say what I’m about to say..and how as I type this I’m wiping tears that fall from my eyes off of
My screen..but…I can’t do this anymore…I don’t know who I am anymore..I’ve begged and pleaded for you to be happy with me and that’s not who I am…i have lost myself in this mess of a situation we call love…you and being happy with you is the ONLY thing I want…but I don’t know how to be what you need me to be…I don’t even know what you need…I dont question that you love me and I don’t question that what we have…could probably have been perfect if we would have both taken some time to make it work instead of being stubborn and ignoring our problems…but I know unless I walk away this will never change…were both not as happy as we deserve..and we are both looking fr two completely opposite things…and the hardest part is I’ve found all I’ve ever wanted in you…which is probably one of the reasons I’ve hung onto this for so long…in hopes that maybe you would wake up one day and feel the same about me…but I know now that’s probably never gonna happen and i need to be strong and stop stressing you out and asking for your time when you don’t have the time to give me…I give up ter…I love you everyday…but I’m miserable…I don’t wanna be miserable anymore…

I feel like the hardest part of accepting a break up is getting through the moments that you had made future plans for…sooner or later the future comes and when you get to those moments you talked about and looked forward to with your ex….by yourself…it really hits a place in your heart…I can’t wait until I et through this next month..I feel like after this I will have no more ties to him at all…everyday I’ve gotten stronger but tonight I miss him…I wonder If I ever cross his mind..